Heidi and the Raw Food Bar

I just finished reading a very cute manga called Kitchen Princess, in which the main character is named Najika. Each chapter is named according to the recipe she makes during that chapter. Najika and Flan, Najika and Peach Pie and Najika and Rainbow Jelly, etc. Najika is notorious for remaking recipes she has tried, even if she has only tasted them once. She has an impeccable sense of taste and absolutely loves to cook! Well my night reminded me of Najika. I spent the evening trying to remake my favorite raw food bar. I have had the ingredients for a while but have put it off, afraid of failing.
I feel like most of my life I have struggled with the fear of failure. Through school I would procrastinate on ALL and I mean all of my projects till the very last minute and hurry to complete them on time. I remember staying up miserably till about 2 or 3 in the morning starting and finishing a history assignment due the next day. I still managed to ace about everything I did. However, seeing my scores was a double edged sword. I was relieved and glad that I could get such a grade, but disappointed in the effort I put into it, imagining what it really could have been like had I given it my all and started sooner.
 It is OK to make mistakes. I have many times had to give myself permission to do so. I, as well as many of you, grew up with parents who were perfectionists. I would give my friends tours of my mother's kitchen cabinets to show them the labels facing forward and stacked all upright. She's amazingly neat. I still hustle to clean when my father comes over to visit (although he has relaxed a lot) but still invite him to fold the clothes piled up in my love seat if they're bothering him. hehe. This pile has become a reoccurring decoration. I ended up abandoning all order because I felt I couldn't "measure up." I am trying to regain some order while still taking time to rest, enjoy my life, my husband, and my son in the middle of our almost clean apartment that I love.
There is a quote I am still trying to find, but this one is most like it, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."
I am putting my life back in order from the inside out. De-cluttering old beliefs and thinking that have taken up residence in my heart for far too long. They have stifled my joy, and robbed me of enjoying my journey in life. I am rediscovering dreams and dreaming again. And taking opportunities that if I gave them a second thought I would probably turn down because of fear. I'm learning to risk! Risk-when I looked this word up, it said; exposure to the chance of injury or loss. That meaning was wildly negative and disappointing to me. When I think of taking risks now, I think of the opportunity of going through the experience and maybe even triumphing during it. Our children are a great example of this. They are reckless. They have to be taught fear. My son's new thing is climbing on/conquering everything! He doesn't worry about gravity or anything else. He is risking daily and most of the time succeeding at his risks.
So, after much hand mixing and taste testing I finished my Raw Food Bar Remake. It's still in the fridge hardening, but I've nibbled on a piece to find that I was almost successful. It tastes a lot like my favorite raw food bar, but still needs tweaking, just...like...me.
Learn to risk, give yourself permission to fail, know that your potential is far greater than anything you've done up to this point and even goes further than what you can accomplish in this life. You are brilliant!

Here is my Recipe for the Raw Food Bar if you are interested: I would add a little more protein powder to yours though so that it is stiffer,at least another scoop. 
16 oz Cashew Butter
12 or about 1&1/2 cups Medjool Dates (pitted)
3/4 cups Raw Agave Nectar
1/2 scoop Rice Protein Powder-the scoops that come with the powder (you can try a diff. protein powder)
1 Tbls flax seeds(optional)
1/4 cup raw cashew pieces ( you can use less)
1/4 cup mini semi sweet chocolate chips or carob chips
3 Tbls dried shredded coconut (optional)

In a mixing bowl mash the dates with the cashew butter. Add agave and stir. Add protein powder and stir. Add flax seeds, cashew pieces, choc chips and coconut and stir till well blended or mix with hands =). Pat into a wax paper covered 9/13 inch pan until smooth and flat. It doesn't have to cover the whole pan. Cover with wax paper and refrigerate overnight. Cut into bars and keep refrigerated.
If you want to try what these taste like before making them. You can find one at Whole Foods, in the bar section, the brand i like is Raw Organic Food bar, Chocolate or Chocolate Coconut.